Category Archives: parenting

Dear Motherless Mom-to-be, I SEE YOU. Love, a Birth and Postpartum Doula

Posted by Jan 17, 2019 Birth, Doula, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, passion, Pregnancy , , , , , Leave a Comment
Dear Motherless Mom-to-be, I SEE YOU. Love, a Birth and Postpartum Doula

At the age of 26 I was in a committed relationship, living abroad with a stable career and dreaming about someday soon becoming a mother. Then I lost my own mother to cancer. All of a sudden the thought of navigating the unchartered territory of parenting seemed much less appealing. Like many other women, my mom was the one I reached out to when I doubted myself, when I needed reassurance and advice or just someone to listen to my nonsense. I knew raising a child without my mother around was going to be tough but I thought it was going to be tough mostly because she wouldn’t be there to enjoy her grandchild. It was so much harder than I imagined.

In her book “Motherless Daughters”, Hope Edelmen writes:
“A husband can offer emotional support and a father a sense of family, but birthing is the business of women….This verbal legacy that passes from mother to daughter, and which daughters rely on for comparison and guidance. When the mother-daughter relationship is going well, the daughter depends on her mother to help her build self-confidence, asking for stories about her birth and early childhood and seeking encouragement that she can handle motherhood’s demands.”

Before I became pregnant I never thought to ask my mother about her pregnancy with me or what my birth was like. I remember the odd mention of it around my birthday but once I was having my own experience I had so many questions that only she would have been able to answer. I struggled with that emptiness. I was fortunate to have a really great pregnancy with no complications and very little discomforts but I can imagine that other motherless daughters who are experiencing difficulties might struggle with this even more. Perhaps it was my easy pregnancy pay-back when I had a colicky newborn for eight weeks. The early challenges with breastfeeding, a bout of thrush and a baby that needed constant holding, rocking and nursing meant that I had a difficult time not knowing what to do and felt it I had to really work hard at trusting my own instincts without my mom to consult.

Edelmen writes; “Pregnancy and the postpartum period can be bittersweet times for the motherless daughter, who feels closer to her mother as she becomes one but also feels an intense sadness as she confronts her loss again. As a milestone event in a woman’s life, childbirth-particularly with a first child-commonly triggers a new cycle of mourning for the lost mother, involving intense feelings of grief, sadness, anger or despair. The woman mourns not only the loss of her mother’s advice and support but also the loss of a grandmother for her child.”

Virtually no one can replace the emptiness of not having your mother during the prenatal and postpartum experience. I do believe that having a doula is key to making this transition a beautiful time when one can honour their mother and feel her closeness again. Perhaps grief can be felt in a more peaceful way with fond memories. It is my opinion that no one needs a doula more than a motherless daughter. If this is you PLEASE reach out to me. I feel your pain and I want you to know that you are not alone….I SEE YOU! xo

Oh Baby it’s cold outside! – How to entertain a toddler at home.

Posted by Jan 10, 2019 adventure, Burlington, Doula, fitness, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, parenthood, parenting, workout, yoga Leave a Comment

Well, what can we expect from a Canadian winter right?! Truth is we have been lucky this season so far with some mild temps and now the cold, frigid winter wind is here. When my kids were much younger there were definitely cold days when I didn’t want to take them far. We would hunker down and make the best of our time together indoors. Don’t get me wrong…I am all for bundling up and heading outside for some outdoor adventures but when the cold gets to you and those cheeks turn rosy red it’s time to head back in to the warmth.

Here are my 5 favourite things to do with the kiddos at home on a frosty day;

  1. Play dress up! Kind of like a ‘Choose your own adventure’. If you don’t already have a Tickle trunk of your own choose some items from their closets and let their imaginations do the rest. Then you can play pretend on where you are going. This was always one of our go-to’s.
  2. Build a couch fort. Grab those cushions and blankets and build away! Then maybe you can do some reading or colouring inside your fort. My kids would some times even take a nap in there because it felt cozy and safe and they made it themselves.
  3. Do a craft, make some art. Let their creative minds roam. Pinterest is always a great resource if you need some ideas.
  4. Do some exercise together! I like Cosmic kids on Youtube for some storytelling yoga time. You don’t need any fancy equipment and you can even do it in your jammies!
  5. Take a nap! We used to love family naps in my bed. I’m not going to lie, it some times took over an hour to get everyone to sleep but when it happened it felt amazing! Cold outside and warm in bed..perfect time to catch up on sleep.

So bundle up and head out to the park for some playtime fun and when the shivers get you then head home with no guilt and have some fun with your littles. That cold, brisk air is sure to tire out even the most energetic one. These moments are fleeting so enjoy!

The Busy Mom’s Guide to Getting Fit and Strong

Posted by Jan 7, 2019 Doula, fitness, health, kids, motherhood, new year's resolutions, Oakville, parenthood, parenting, passion, Prenatal Yoga, sports, workout, yoga , Leave a Comment
The Busy Mom’s Guide to Getting Fit and Strong

A new year is upon us and many see this as an opportunity to make or improve on some healthy habits. I know I do! I am a mom of two busy kids; an eleven year old daughter and a nine year old son. Before they were born I was very active playing rugby at an amateur level and hitting the gym 5-7 days a week. I remember saying to my husband that once the kids were born I wasn’t going to make excuses not to maintain this pace….Wow, was I in for a surprise! The truth is that once you become a parent all of your priorities change and it becomes challenging to find time for yourself when your little humans need a lot of your time and attention. I hope this guide gives you some ideas and motivation for yourself but I am also available if you want to brainstorm for your personal situation.

First of all, let’s just take a moment to acknowledge your body the way it is today in all of its wonder and glory. You made a baby (or babies) and for that you should be proud! We can still love our bodies and be grateful for all that they have done yet want to become stronger and fitter. Be weary of quick fixes or too-good-to-be-true solutions. This stuff is hard work and takes dedication to make every day changes, but so worth it for your health and the health and happiness of your family. From a very young age I remember engaging in active pursuits with my parents and watching them play sports. This has stayed with me over the years and I already see it impacting my children. Never feel guilty for wanting to spend time working on yourself Momma!

Over the last ten years my exercise regime has changed and evolved based on many factors, but primarily the needs of my children. So I’ve broken this guide down by years to help you.

IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING BIRTH

Every woman and every birth (even by the same woman!) is so different. Immediately after birth the only thing you should be concerned about is healing and bonding with your baby. Slow things down and enjoy this time. There will be plenty of time later to think about workouts. The best workout or “workin” you can do at this stage is deep belly breathing, it helps to reduce stress, aids in milk production, and tones your abdominals. The other “exercise” that is helpful at this stage is Kegels. Once you have been given the green light by your midwife or doctor then you can consider incorporating more. I would also recommend getting seen by a physiotherapist that specializes in postnatal core rehab to rule out diastasis recti (abdominal separation), prolapse, or pelvic floor issues.

FIRST YEAR AFTER BIRTH

Maternity leave is a great time to start some healthy habits because you have taken on the most important role of your life; Mom! First and foremost, nutrition is key in all stages of life. Start or maintain healthy eating habits now to feel your best. There are so many fitness options these days for new moms in most communities and at home. There are a lot of gyms that have childminding if you feel comfortable leaving your baby. However, if you do not there is a plethora of Mom and Baby classes that are mother-centered but allow baby to be in a carrier or close by so that you can stop if needed to attend to your baby. While at home programs might be convenient, they may leave you feeling isolated, lonely and unmotivated. Perhaps a combination of classes and at home workouts is the best option for you. Classes are great because you get to meet other moms and they are tailored to the postpartum body. If the weather is nice grab a friend and take baby out for a stroll. Mom and baby yoga, mom and baby fitness, dance classes, barre, aqua-fit….the choices are endless. I enjoyed mom and baby yoga, salsa babies and walks outside (even in very cold temps) with my first baby. When I was tired from frequent waking at night or not eating properly, I let myself rest. This is very important so give yourself time to get back at it gradually. Try different classes to find the right combination for you. A trainer that you connect with, class times and location that work best, and costs are all factors to consider. See below for my classes west of the GTA.

BACK TO WORK: THE TODDLER YEARS

This was by far the most difficult time for me and I can honestly say that after my first I struggled for a while to find the right balance. Long working hours and commutes make it very difficult to prioritize yourself. Time with your toddler seems so precious that you can’t bear to leave them.

Here are some ideas:

6am workouts! I know that sounds painful but I can guarantee if you do this consistently you will be astounded at how good you feel for the rest of the day. It’s out of the way and it frees up time in the evening to be with your children.

Noon workouts! Take time on your lunch hour to workout, find a gym close to your place of employment and I guarantee this will become a regular part of your day.

Good news is toddlers need a lot of sleep and usually go to bed quite early. If you have enough energy an 8pm class might be the ticket for you. Then on your days home take your children out for a walk or to play at the park, get active with them when you can so that they see how important it is. Pushing a child on a swing or chasing them around a park IS a workout!

THE SCHOOL AGE YEARS

Once when my kids were in the baby/toddler stage another mom warned me that life would only get busier once my kids were slightly older and involved in extra-curricular activities. I didn’t believe her but now that they are I totally get it. Evenings and weekends are spent taxiing and carpooling all over the city for their sports and activities. I love that they are active and involved but it consumes a lot of time. So now how do you fit in a workout?

When my kids could play a little more independently at the park I would do a workout near them. I would plan out my exercises and reps and do my burpees, squats etc at the playground. Once in a while I would be needed to push a swing then I would get back to it.

Running with little ones in a stroller or chariot, this is a tough one but everyone wins!

6am’s are a good option. I do yoga in my home in the early mornings and it’s not always peaceful. My son is an early riser so some times he cuddles on my blankets and bolsters while I finish my practice but it’s ok, at least I got some in (I figure this is just part of the Mom life and I get savasana with a little-man cuddle).

Noon workouts again are great because it frees up your evenings to spend with the kids doing homework or taking them to their activities. If you can manage it why not strap on your runners for a jog or head to the gym while they are doing their sports. I see so many parents scrolling through their phones or playing Candy Crush when they could use that time more wisely. My daughter’s dance lessons become a run around the neighbourhood for me during warm weather or a weight session at my gym closeby. Sure I’m sweaty when I pick her up but the endorphins feel amazing. Plan activities you can do as a family like skiing, skating or biking. Head to the park and chase a ball. Getting active as a family is wonderful on so many levels!

AFTER PRIMARY SCHOOL WHEN YOUR KIDS DON’T WANT TO BE AROUND YOU MUCH (LOL)

Ok so I don’t have any experience with this stage yet. I do envy the other Moms at my gym who are at this stage and get more workouts in during the week than I do, but I figure these years are so precious and my time will come. I know it seems daunting at times when there is so much to accomplish during the day. Lifestyle changes take time and perseverance but feeling strong physically is so important as a Mom to keep you balanced emotionally. Go to bed early, eat well, drink lots of water and plan those workouts in advance. Not only will you see major changes in yourself but those kiddos of yours will thank you one day! Best of luck Mommas and if you need support and motivation please reach out, we are here to support one another! -Namaste

 

The Perfect Partnership: Yoga – Doula

Posted by Apr 16, 2018 Birth, Burlington, Doula, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, parenthood, parenting, passion, Pregnancy, yoga , Leave a Comment
The Perfect Partnership: Yoga – Doula

What is a Doula?

A Doula is a non-medical birth coach that provides guidance and support to expecting individuals and couples prior to, during and after birth. Imagine a nurturing companion by your side comforting you during one of the most transformative experiences of your life. Birth can be unknown and even feared if not approached in a positive way. A doula can guide both the birthing mother and her partner towards an enlightening experience and help navigate the postpartum weeks. Services and support are tailored to each client’s needs. In my early days of teaching prenatal yoga my students would some times ask me to attend their births. I did support one couple and it was such an amazing experience. One that I still reflect on five years later. At that time in my life I had two young children and didn’t have the family support to make an on-call situation work for us. After that I had to give referrals to my students despite wishing I could be there for them and offer continuous care. Fast forward to today…my children are a bit older and my husband has more flexibility with his job so I’ve taken the leap. I have begun my Doula training and have already started meeting with clients to support as part of my certification.

Here’s my take on why my yoga teaching is the perfect complement to doula support;

  • I regularly guide my students towards peacefulness and relaxation. I have studied the nervous system and how our breathing affects us physically and emotionally. This can translate very easily to labour.
  • Becoming a yoga teacher requires a strong background in anatomy and this knowledge will be very helpful during pregnancy, birth and in the postpartum period.
  • Practicing grounding ourselves in a yoga class is helpful when labour gets challenging and we start to doubt our bodies and abilities.
  • Most prenatal yoga poses are meant to prepare the body for labour and birth. Students who attend my classes become familiar with these poses and their bodies are very receptive to them even at 40+ weeks gestation. Practicing these positions and movements together before birth makes it very organic to use them during birth.
  • We share. Students share their experiences during class and we develop a trusting relationship.
  • Teaching yoga has helped me develop my intuition and ability to read energies. Maintaining a positive energy in a birth environment is key to supporting couples in whichever birth location they choose.
  • I often have to “read” bodies in class to see how I can support them with comfort measures or modifications. Birthing women won’t always communicate through words that they need guidance to become more comfortable.
  • Yoga is identified with the mind/body connection and this is something I understand and can teach to my students and client

There are so many other ways that yoga and birth are a perfect fit. If you would like to discuss further let’s grab a tea, a bolster and have a chat!

Namaste, Angela