Category Archives: kids

How a Doula Can Ease Anxiety During Childbirth

Posted by Nov 19, 2024 Baby, Birth, Birth doula, Breastfeeding, Burlington, Burlington Doula, Doula, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, Oakville Doula, parenthood, parenting, Pregnancy, Prenatal Yoga, yoga Leave a Comment
How a Doula Can Ease Anxiety During Childbirth

Childbirth is a life-changing event, one that can be filled with anticipation, excitement, and, for some, significant anxiety or fear. Whether it’s the unknown aspects of labour, concerns about pain, or the experience of past trauma, the emotional and mental hurdles leading up to and during birth can be overwhelming. This is where a birth doula can be a game-changer, especially for individuals who experience anxiety or fear surrounding childbirth.

If you are someone with anxiety or fear about giving birth, here are some compelling reasons why hiring a birth doula might help you navigate your pregnancy and birth experience with greater confidence and calm.

1. Emotional Support and Reassurance

A birth doula’s primary role is to provide continuous emotional support. For someone dealing with anxiety or fear, the presence of a calming, supportive figure can make a significant difference in how they cope with the unknowns of labour. Doulas are trained to offer reassurance, validate your feelings, and provide a calming presence during moments of stress or panic. This kind of emotional support can help you feel more grounded, reduce fear, and allow you to focus on your breathing and relaxation techniques.

2. Increased Confidence and Empowerment

Anxiety and fear can often stem from a sense of helplessness or lack of control. Doulas work to empower birthing individuals by helping them understand their options, educating them about the birth process, and advocating for their preferences. This knowledge and support can alleviate fear by giving you a sense of autonomy and control over your birth experience. When you feel more informed and involved in the decision-making process, it can reduce feelings of vulnerability and uncertainty.

3. Stress Reduction and Coping Techniques

Labour can be an intense experience, and anxiety often escalates when individuals feel they are not prepared for the physical sensations or the emotional intensity. A doula offers various techniques to help manage pain and anxiety, including deep breathing exercises, guided meditation, visualization, massage, and other relaxation strategies. These methods can reduce stress, help you stay present in the moment, and minimize the intensity of anxiety during labour. Knowing that a doula is there to guide you through these techniques can help reduce the overall fear surrounding birth.

4. Continuous Support Through Labor

Unlike many healthcare providers who may not be able to stay with you for the entire duration of labor, a doula offers continuous presence. This unbroken support can be incredibly reassuring, especially for those dealing with anxiety. Knowing that someone is there to advocate for your needs, provide comfort, and guide you through each stage of labor can make the experience feel less isolating. The consistency of care also allows you to remain more relaxed and open, which can help reduce the anxiety associated with labor’s unpredictable nature.

5. Trauma-Informed Care

For individuals who have experienced trauma—whether that trauma is related to previous birth experiences, personal history, or other factors—a doula can offer trauma-informed care. They approach the birth process with sensitivity to your emotional needs, work to avoid triggering past trauma, and help you feel more in control of your body and birth. This can be especially important for someone with anxiety, as it creates an environment where you feel safe and supported throughout the process.

6. Navigating Fears and Uncertainty

Fear of the unknown is one of the most common sources of anxiety during pregnancy and birth. A doula can help address these fears by providing honest, evidence-based information about what to expect during labour and birth. By answering questions and discussing any concerns you may have, doulas help demystify the birth process, making it less intimidating. Additionally, doulas can work with you to create a birth plan that addresses your specific fears and preferences, giving you a sense of preparedness.

7. Advocacy and Communication with Healthcare Providers

In some cases, anxiety and fear are exacerbated by the lack of clear communication with medical professionals. A doula can act as a bridge between you and your healthcare team, helping to ensure that your preferences and concerns are heard and respected. They can also provide clarity on medical procedures, explain what’s happening during labour, and help you feel more confident in your interactions with doctors, midwives, and nurses. Knowing that someone is advocating for you can ease the feeling of being overwhelmed or unheard.

8. Postpartum Support

The support of a doula doesn’t end once the baby is born. Many doulas offer postpartum care to help with the emotional and physical recovery after childbirth. For someone with anxiety, the postpartum period can also be a challenging time, as the body adjusts and new emotions and experiences arise. A doula can offer support during this time by providing reassurance, addressing any concerns, and helping with the adjustment to parenthood. They may also offer guidance on breastfeeding, infant care, and self-care, which can help ease postpartum anxiety.

9. A Non-Judgmental Support System

One of the most important aspects of hiring a doula is the knowledge that they will offer support without judgment. Whether you have fears about certain aspects of birth or want to discuss your concerns openly, a doula provides a safe, accepting space. This non-judgmental support can be especially valuable for someone with anxiety, as it allows you to process your emotions freely, without fear of being criticized or misunderstood.

Conclusion: A Doula Can Help You Breathe Easier

For those dealing with anxiety or fear about childbirth, hiring a doula can provide a sense of calm, control, and support throughout the birth experience. From emotional reassurance and coping techniques to advocacy and trauma-informed care, a doula can be a powerful ally in creating a birth experience that is as empowering and positive as possible. By choosing a doula, you are not only investing in physical support but also in your mental and emotional well-being during one of life’s most significant milestones.

My son’s birth

Posted by Jul 12, 2019 Birth, Burlington Doula, Doula, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, Oakville Doula, parenthood, parenting, Pregnancy, Prenatal Yoga Leave a Comment
My son’s birth

Today is my son’s 10th birthday. It feels surreal that ten years has passed so quickly. It seems like just yesterday we welcomed him. I have decided to share his birth story to honour this day.

It was 2009 and I was due on July 9th. It was hot, I was big (baby was estimated to be a full pound bigger than my first) and my midwife kept saying she thought I would go early. So when my due date came and went I was feeling like he was never going to come. I had an active 23 month old daughter so laying around in a cool, air conditioned home wasn’t really an option. At two days overdue we decided to head to a local, outdoor pool to enjoy a sunny, summer day. I remember how wonderful it was to swim and see my child and my husband enjoying themselves. I was cool and weightless in the water and I felt my entire body relax as I surrendered to the fact that this baby was going to come when he was ready to do so. We had a lovely bbq dinner at home and we all crashed in our family bed with that summertime satisfied feeling after being outdoors.

I slept very well that night. At 6am on July 12th I woke up suddenly and noticed that I felt different. I could feel some faint contractions and I thought to myself….my baby boy is coming today. I showered and washed my hair knowing it might be the last time for a while. Then we simply went about our day. We went for a walk on the trails by our home, played in the backyard, I polished my appliances and tidied the house between surges. Then in the heat of the afternoon I closed the curtains and made the house dark. In between rushes I laid on the couch and slept. While my daughter was napping my husband asked if we should call our midwife. I (naively) said “no, I’m good. Let’s wait before we bug her.” I then got into a cool tub of water as the contractions were getting much more intense. My in-laws came to pick up my daughter and in that moment I felt so much sadness. I asked to see her before she left and I hugged her so tight and had a bit of a cry. A feeling I can only describe now as grief of the loss of our family unit as I knew it. Little did I know then how great things would become as a family of four. She was fine and just said, “bye, bye Mommy!”.

I hadn’t yet timed my contractions as I was just in the moment all day. My middle sister arrived at our house as planned because she wanted to be at my birth. She timed them for me and declared that they were less than two minutes apart! Out of the tub I went to dry off and call my midwife. During our phone chat I had a couple of surges and she thought that by the sound of my voice we had time so she would come and see me in an hour. She advised me to hop in the shower. I did, but 2 minutes in I got out and said I could feel his head pressing down on my cervix. We called her back and found out she lived on the east side of the hospital whereas we were on the west side. She gave my husband the option of calling 911 if he saw the head emerge or drive me to the hospital as fast as he could….which he did. So transition phase was in the car, which was not pleasant but only for 10 minutes. He dropped us off at the door and I waddled in holding my hands between my legs and stopping often when things got intense. I was whisked into a room, laid on the bed and was told by a nurse (my midwife hadn’t arrived yet) that I was 9 1/2 cm. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that! When my midwife arrived she told me it would be best to break my water and then baby would be born soon after. Problem was my husband wasn’t back from parking the car and checking me in. So we waited….more contractions…it seemed like forever. Then when he got back (he’s going to kill me for saying this) he needed time to answer nature’s call, so I waited some more. Then waters were ruptured, I pushed about 4-5 times and Oliver was born! He came out so quickly that he wasn’t breathing, no sound, purple baby. His cord was clamped and cut and he was taken to be suctioned. My husband felt uneasy but for some reason I was still calm. Within a few minutes he was crying softly on my chest. He was the most amazing thing to me and I felt so in love. He started to show signs he wanted to nurse, he latched right away and nursed for 30 minutes each side while I ate the most delicious toasted Tim Horton’s bagel with a tea (actually it was just the usual food from Timmie’s but after birth everything tastes amazingly good). We looked at the clock and figured that if we went home right away our daughter could meet her little brother before her 8pm bed time. Everything went well so my midwife discharged me less than an hour and a half after he was born. I was so excited to sleep in my own bed.

It was just such a peaceful and enjoyable day which ended in my little family all being together in our home. I slept with my son that night while my daughter slept with my husband. I had a beautiful breakfast in bed and my midwife was there at 8am to check on me and baby Ollie. I feel so much joy and love thinking back to those days. How is it that my little man is 10?!

Dear Motherless Mom-to-be, I SEE YOU. Love, a Birth and Postpartum Doula

Posted by Jan 17, 2019 Birth, Doula, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, passion, Pregnancy , , , , , Leave a Comment
Dear Motherless Mom-to-be, I SEE YOU. Love, a Birth and Postpartum Doula

At the age of 26 I was in a committed relationship, living abroad with a stable career and dreaming about someday soon becoming a mother. Then I lost my own mother to cancer. All of a sudden the thought of navigating the unchartered territory of parenting seemed much less appealing. Like many other women, my mom was the one I reached out to when I doubted myself, when I needed reassurance and advice or just someone to listen to my nonsense. I knew raising a child without my mother around was going to be tough but I thought it was going to be tough mostly because she wouldn’t be there to enjoy her grandchild. It was so much harder than I imagined.

In her book “Motherless Daughters”, Hope Edelmen writes:
“A husband can offer emotional support and a father a sense of family, but birthing is the business of women….This verbal legacy that passes from mother to daughter, and which daughters rely on for comparison and guidance. When the mother-daughter relationship is going well, the daughter depends on her mother to help her build self-confidence, asking for stories about her birth and early childhood and seeking encouragement that she can handle motherhood’s demands.”

Before I became pregnant I never thought to ask my mother about her pregnancy with me or what my birth was like. I remember the odd mention of it around my birthday but once I was having my own experience I had so many questions that only she would have been able to answer. I struggled with that emptiness. I was fortunate to have a really great pregnancy with no complications and very little discomforts but I can imagine that other motherless daughters who are experiencing difficulties might struggle with this even more. Perhaps it was my easy pregnancy pay-back when I had a colicky newborn for eight weeks. The early challenges with breastfeeding, a bout of thrush and a baby that needed constant holding, rocking and nursing meant that I had a difficult time not knowing what to do and felt it I had to really work hard at trusting my own instincts without my mom to consult.

Edelmen writes; “Pregnancy and the postpartum period can be bittersweet times for the motherless daughter, who feels closer to her mother as she becomes one but also feels an intense sadness as she confronts her loss again. As a milestone event in a woman’s life, childbirth-particularly with a first child-commonly triggers a new cycle of mourning for the lost mother, involving intense feelings of grief, sadness, anger or despair. The woman mourns not only the loss of her mother’s advice and support but also the loss of a grandmother for her child.”

Virtually no one can replace the emptiness of not having your mother during the prenatal and postpartum experience. I do believe that having a doula is key to making this transition a beautiful time when one can honour their mother and feel her closeness again. Perhaps grief can be felt in a more peaceful way with fond memories. It is my opinion that no one needs a doula more than a motherless daughter. If this is you PLEASE reach out to me. I feel your pain and I want you to know that you are not alone….I SEE YOU! xo

Oh Baby it’s cold outside! – How to entertain a toddler at home.

Posted by Jan 10, 2019 adventure, Burlington, Doula, fitness, Happiness, health, kids, motherhood, Oakville, parenthood, parenting, workout, yoga Leave a Comment

Well, what can we expect from a Canadian winter right?! Truth is we have been lucky this season so far with some mild temps and now the cold, frigid winter wind is here. When my kids were much younger there were definitely cold days when I didn’t want to take them far. We would hunker down and make the best of our time together indoors. Don’t get me wrong…I am all for bundling up and heading outside for some outdoor adventures but when the cold gets to you and those cheeks turn rosy red it’s time to head back in to the warmth.

Here are my 5 favourite things to do with the kiddos at home on a frosty day;

  1. Play dress up! Kind of like a ‘Choose your own adventure’. If you don’t already have a Tickle trunk of your own choose some items from their closets and let their imaginations do the rest. Then you can play pretend on where you are going. This was always one of our go-to’s.
  2. Build a couch fort. Grab those cushions and blankets and build away! Then maybe you can do some reading or colouring inside your fort. My kids would some times even take a nap in there because it felt cozy and safe and they made it themselves.
  3. Do a craft, make some art. Let their creative minds roam. Pinterest is always a great resource if you need some ideas.
  4. Do some exercise together! I like Cosmic kids on Youtube for some storytelling yoga time. You don’t need any fancy equipment and you can even do it in your jammies!
  5. Take a nap! We used to love family naps in my bed. I’m not going to lie, it some times took over an hour to get everyone to sleep but when it happened it felt amazing! Cold outside and warm in bed..perfect time to catch up on sleep.

So bundle up and head out to the park for some playtime fun and when the shivers get you then head home with no guilt and have some fun with your littles. That cold, brisk air is sure to tire out even the most energetic one. These moments are fleeting so enjoy!