How to find the right doula for you!

How to find the right doula for you!

Perhaps you have done some research or spoken to friends and family who have used a doula for their birth and you are now convinced that having doula support is right for you and your partner. Now what?! Maybe you have googled ‘Birth doula near me’ and don’t know where to start. Here are some tips to help you find the doula that is the best fit for you.

Start by making a list of the qualities you are looking for in your doula in order of priority. For example; experience, knowledge, friendly, philosophies, etc. This list should be fluid as you may find once you start interviewing, some of the qualities you initially thought were the most important suddenly are not. 

Ask around for referrals. Ask friends, co-workers, family members or other trusted individuals who have first hand experience with a doula in your community. This is a great place to start, however, the qualities that were most important to them may not be the same for you. Not every doula is right for every person, so know that you will have to make a decision based on who is right for you. 

Save time by searching online. If you have some leads or do not have any leads, the internet can be a massive time saver. Most doulas have websites or social media pages. Check them out. Read their content. Does it resonate with you? If you find their words speak to you then maybe it’s time to follow up with an email. 

Are you price sensitive? If so, it might make sense to ask for rates upfront that way if a doula’s rates are out of reach for you, save your time and theirs by continuing your search. Keep in mind that some doulas offer their rates on a sliding scale which means they are open to negotiating a lower rate (not everyone is comfortable doing this). Depending on the area that you live in you can expect to pay between 700-1300 for a birth doula. Doulas who are still certifying generally charge a bit less than those who have graduated so that could be an option as well. 

Set up some interviews. Most doulas offer a complimentary in person or phone call interview to see if there is a mutual fit. If you have a partner they should also participate in this interview. This is your opportunity to ask the questions that matter to you and get a general feel if there is a good connection. Recently I was asked during one of these interviews which qualities I thought were most important in finding the right doula. My answer was ‘CONNECTION’! Birth is such an intimate time and you want to feel comfortable and supported by your doula. Go with your intuition. You may find that even though a doula may not have a ton of years of experience, she might make you feel warm and taken care of and be the right fit for you. 

Us doulas recognize that we are not always the best fit for each person, do not feel bad if you have to keep looking. It’s best to let those that you interview know as soon as possible that you have decided not to hire them. Once you have found the doula for your unique birth team you will know! Best of luck with your search!

My son’s birth

My son’s birth

Today is my son’s 10th birthday. It feels surreal that ten years has passed so quickly. It seems like just yesterday we welcomed him. I have decided to share his birth story to honour this day.

It was 2009 and I was due on July 9th. It was hot, I was big (baby was estimated to be a full pound bigger than my first) and my midwife kept saying she thought I would go early. So when my due date came and went I was feeling like he was never going to come. I had an active 23 month old daughter so laying around in a cool, air conditioned home wasn’t really an option. At two days overdue we decided to head to a local, outdoor pool to enjoy a sunny, summer day. I remember how wonderful it was to swim and see my child and my husband enjoying themselves. I was cool and weightless in the water and I felt my entire body relax as I surrendered to the fact that this baby was going to come when he was ready to do so. We had a lovely bbq dinner at home and we all crashed in our family bed with that summertime satisfied feeling after being outdoors.

I slept very well that night. At 6am on July 12th I woke up suddenly and noticed that I felt different. I could feel some faint contractions and I thought to myself….my baby boy is coming today. I showered and washed my hair knowing it might be the last time for a while. Then we simply went about our day. We went for a walk on the trails by our home, played in the backyard, I polished my appliances and tidied the house between surges. Then in the heat of the afternoon I closed the curtains and made the house dark. In between rushes I laid on the couch and slept. While my daughter was napping my husband asked if we should call our midwife. I (naively) said “no, I’m good. Let’s wait before we bug her.” I then got into a cool tub of water as the contractions were getting much more intense. My in-laws came to pick up my daughter and in that moment I felt so much sadness. I asked to see her before she left and I hugged her so tight and had a bit of a cry. A feeling I can only describe now as grief of the loss of our family unit as I knew it. Little did I know then how great things would become as a family of four. She was fine and just said, “bye, bye Mommy!”.

I hadn’t yet timed my contractions as I was just in the moment all day. My middle sister arrived at our house as planned because she wanted to be at my birth. She timed them for me and declared that they were less than two minutes apart! Out of the tub I went to dry off and call my midwife. During our phone chat I had a couple of surges and she thought that by the sound of my voice we had time so she would come and see me in an hour. She advised me to hop in the shower. I did, but 2 minutes in I got out and said I could feel his head pressing down on my cervix. We called her back and found out she lived on the east side of the hospital whereas we were on the west side. She gave my husband the option of calling 911 if he saw the head emerge or drive me to the hospital as fast as he could….which he did. So transition phase was in the car, which was not pleasant but only for 10 minutes. He dropped us off at the door and I waddled in holding my hands between my legs and stopping often when things got intense. I was whisked into a room, laid on the bed and was told by a nurse (my midwife hadn’t arrived yet) that I was 9 1/2 cm. Wow, I wasn’t expecting that! When my midwife arrived she told me it would be best to break my water and then baby would be born soon after. Problem was my husband wasn’t back from parking the car and checking me in. So we waited….more contractions…it seemed like forever. Then when he got back (he’s going to kill me for saying this) he needed time to answer nature’s call, so I waited some more. Then waters were ruptured, I pushed about 4-5 times and Oliver was born! He came out so quickly that he wasn’t breathing, no sound, purple baby. His cord was clamped and cut and he was taken to be suctioned. My husband felt uneasy but for some reason I was still calm. Within a few minutes he was crying softly on my chest. He was the most amazing thing to me and I felt so in love. He started to show signs he wanted to nurse, he latched right away and nursed for 30 minutes each side while I ate the most delicious toasted Tim Horton’s bagel with a tea (actually it was just the usual food from Timmie’s but after birth everything tastes amazingly good). We looked at the clock and figured that if we went home right away our daughter could meet her little brother before her 8pm bed time. Everything went well so my midwife discharged me less than an hour and a half after he was born. I was so excited to sleep in my own bed.

It was just such a peaceful and enjoyable day which ended in my little family all being together in our home. I slept with my son that night while my daughter slept with my husband. I had a beautiful breakfast in bed and my midwife was there at 8am to check on me and baby Ollie. I feel so much joy and love thinking back to those days. How is it that my little man is 10?!

When is the right time to start Prenatal Yoga?

When is the right time to start Prenatal Yoga?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
If you are reading this you are probably thinking about starting some healthy lifestyle changes or adjusting your current activities now that your body is going through some massive changes. If you are unsure about how prenatal yoga can benefit you and your baby, see my previous post “Why Prenatal Yoga?”.

I get the question often “When can I start practicing Prenatal Yoga?”

While this is totally an individual assessment, I hope to answer some common dilemmas people have. Over the many years of teaching prenatal yoga I have seen people start as soon as they have a positive pregnancy test all the way to coming to their first class at 41 weeks when labour was delayed! As with most things in life, consistency is key to seeing the benefits. A regular practice started early can have wonderful benefits for both you and your baby during your pregnancy and also during birth (see my post “How Prenatal Yoga prepares you for birth”.) I don’t want to discourage anyone from starting mid to late pregnancy as some yoga is better than no yoga!

First trimester:
If you have a history of high risk pregnancies or miscarriage it is wise to speak to your health care practitioner and discuss your intent to start yoga. Exercise during pregnancy has been shown to reduce complications and improve birth outcomes when the risk is low. If you have a health concern that is a relative contraindication but you have been approved for moderate activity, it is wise to let your yoga teacher know as he/she may need to offer you some modifications so that your practice is safe and enjoyable. Often times in the first trimester people feel ill and very tired. This is common and normal and should be honoured! If you feel like rest is what you need then that is what you should do. You can start yoga when you are feeling much more energetic. Listen to your body mama!

Second trimester:
This is commonly when most people start or renew their yoga practice. Some energy has returned and most will say that they get the urge to move their bodies as sitting or lying down for long periods only causes more discomforts. If you have never practiced yoga or it has been a while, let your teacher know and they can give you some extra guidance in class. Yoga teachers will remind you to listen to your body. This is important during and after class to see if you may have overdone it a bit. Remember not to compare yourself to others in the class. You are unique and your pregnancy is special so adjust when you need to.

Third trimester:
Guess what?! It’s not too late to start prenatal yoga! Take things slow and remember that your body has changed A LOT. If something doesn’t feel good, take a rest. It may take a few classes until you feel more comfortable but you should never feel pain or ill. Pregnant bodies are amazing and they can still move in wonderful ways but everyone is different and pregnancy can feel different from day to day. The mindful aspect of prenatal yoga means that you can truly listen to your body throughout class and respond to your its needs.

I urge you to have a conversation with your health care provider and let them know that you want to start prenatal yoga. If you have questions about what a typical class entails please reach out to me!

How Prenatal Yoga prepares you for Birth

How Prenatal Yoga prepares you for Birth

There is a reason I am so passionate about teaching prenatal yoga. Actually, there are many reasons and I can talk for hours about the benefits to birthing persons, partners and families. Through my own birth experiences and my experiences as a yoga teacher and birth doula, I can say without a doubt that practicing prenatal yoga regularly (one or more times per week) is great for preparing yourself for birth. Many will say that labour is called labour for a reason, it’s hard work! You may also hear that you need to train yourself for birth like you might for an intense athletic event. I am not just referring to the physical demands of labour but also the energetic and emotional demands. Yoga may seem to be simply be a type of workout focusing on stretching to some, but those who dedicate themselves to a consistent practice know that it is much more than that. Yoga can be an hour long asana practice, a 15 minute meditation, a few restorative poses, a mindful strength practice etc. All forms of yoga will benefit you during pregnancy, labour, birth and beyond. Here are some ways;

How yoga prepares the physical body for birth:
Labour and birth requires the soft tissues around the pelvis to lengthen, stretch and relax. Most of us sit for lengthy periods of time during the day causing our hips and back to be restricted. Prenatal yoga poses focus on stretching these areas and when performed throughout pregnancy and labour can have significant positive effects on how quickly labour progresses and a shorter second phase (pushing). Deep breathing and proper cues for breathing in yoga can help one to become more aware of their pelvic floor muscles. This awareness is also key when yielding to the downward pressure of baby’s head crowing and work with contractions instead of being tight and pressing back against baby. When we practice poses repeatedly our bodies get used to them and our nervous system responds favorably. A pose like a squat is very helpful in labour for pain relief and getting baby in a good position but if a woman has not performed a squat in many months she may tense up and be uncomfortable. Gentle inversions, open twists, concave-back forward folds and subtle back bends can all contribute to optimal baby positioning when the time is right for baby to move, resulting in baby being head down and occiput anterior (ideal position for a vaginal birth).

How yoga breathing prepares you for birth:
A prenatal yoga class should contain some pranayama (breath exercises) that are safe for pregnancy. When we regularly practice breathing that is full and focused it gives us a tool to find peace and comfort. Between contractions there is time to use your breathing to release tension and conserve energy for the next wave. When your birth support team reminds you to breathe deeply you can be reminded of all those yoga classes that you did and you can find the same calm feeling, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Some times in a yoga practice we do a movement or stretch that is difficult for you and you might be cued to breathe into the space where you feel restriction. You can do this also in labour! Imagine your back feels tight and sore and when you take a deep inhale you send it there and exhale to let some of that tension go. We obviously breathe all the time but right breathing takes practice. Find a teacher who teaches pranayama then give it a go at home or any where else that works for you, like a birthing suite 😉

How yoga prepares you emotionally for birth:
Labour and birth are intense, awesome and amazing. Full of sensations and feelings that are unfamiliar and overpowering. The thoughts can go in many different ways. Fear, doubt, sadness, anger are all common emotions that come up during birth. Regular yoga and meditation are practices that allow us to notice our thought patterns and habits and learn to observe them rather than react to them or create a story around them. Maybe during your formal seated meditation you notice that you are still thinking about a heated argument you had with your partner. You acknowledge that thought and then you let it pass. Maybe it comes again and you find yourself clinging to it so you let it go again, and again. This practice will serve you well when each wave rises and you feel like it is a part of you, then you detach from the sensation, take a breath and feel it go. This is not easy to do. It’s best if non-attachment is practiced often in pregnancy to prepare you. Yoga teaches us how to surrender. How to be in the present moment, not the past, not anticipating the future. That is birth! Visualization can happen in many ways during a yoga practice. For example, I often lead my students through a meditation where they visualize their baby wrapped in white light energy which offers warmth, nurturing, protection and love. This would be wonderful to do in labour if there is any concern or fear for the baby’s well being. Allowing the birthing person to minimize her fears and allow her body and her baby to work together

I often tell my yoga students to think about their yoga practice when they are in labour. Allow yourself to be intuitive and tap into the self-discovery you have been working on as part of your practice.
There are definitely more ways that yoga prepares you for birth. I would love to hear how it helped you!