It’s that time of year again; Mother’s day. That time during which the unspoken tribe I belong to, the one of Motherless daughters, struggles to celebrate themselves as mothers (or other mothers in their lives), and honour their loved one without allowing themselves to be overridden with grief. On a whim I decided to write this blog and it is my gift to all those who have a mother with them and even those whose mothers live in heaven.

My mother’s death was a gift. A gift of spiritual awakening. Of course I didn’t see it that way at first. Like most who experience the loss of a loved one I had waves of anger, sadness, immense grief and even physical pain. I was unable to even function as a normal person would for a very long time. I resolved myself to the thinking that my life would probably follow the same path as hers and I might as well give up. Those days lasted for weeks and months but eventually became only hours and minutes of emotional pain. Somewhere between the grief and acceptance that I would live the rest of my life without her came a spiritual awakening. One, I believe, may not have occurred if she were still alive today. There are still moments of intense sadness but they are taken over with spurts of desire to live my life to its absolute fullest. To lose a parent means you take nothing for granted, you can almost hear the proverbial clock ticking. Not long after my mom passed away I got married, had two kids, and made a complete career change (all of which wasn’t the same without her). I know that my mom had regrets before her death. We spoke daily about life and things she would have changed. When you go through that experience with someone you can’t NOT live life with urgency. I wonder where I was spiritually before this experience. I remember thinking I had time to do the things I dreamed of with my life. Then I suddenly realized I didn’t have time.

So here’s my gift to you. If you are blessed to still have your mother with you, spend time with her. Spend time doing the most mundane or simple things. Go grocery shopping with her, gardening, house cleaning. Talk about nothing and everything. Enjoy her as much as you can and forgive her when she upsets or frustrates you. To those in my tribe, take some time this weekend to honour your mum. Reflect on how her passing has changed you in a positive way. It sounds horrific at first but I promise it will change everything.

Happy Mother’s Day!